Countless wiseguy films are spoofed in this film that centers on the neuroses and angst of a powerful Mafia racketeer who suffers from panic attacks. When Paul Vitti needs help dealing with his role in the "family," unlucky shrink Dr. Ben Sobel is given just days to resolve Vitti's emotional crisis and turn him into a happy, well-adjusted gangster.
Just retired from the Drug Enforcement Agency, John Hatcher returns to his hometown and quickly discovers that drugs have infiltrated his old neighborhood. Determined to drive the dealers out, Hatcher crosses paths with a ferocious Jamaican drug lord who vows that Hatcher and his family are now marked for death.
FBI agent Barney Coopersmith is assigned to protect former Mafia figure turned informant Vincent Antonelli. In the witness protection program one is supposed to keep a low profile, but that is something that Antonelli has trouble doing. Coopersmith certainly has his hands full keeping Antonelli away from the Mafia hitmen who want to stop him testifying, not to mention the nightclubs...
Jessie is an aging career criminal who has been in more jails, fights, schemes, and lineups than just about anyone else. His son Vito, while currently on the straight and narrow, has had a fairly shady past and is indeed no stranger to illegal activity. They both have great hope for Adam, Vito's son and Jessie's grandson, who is bright, good-looking, and without a criminal past.
After witnessing her lover being murdered by his jealous wife, Angela seeks refuge in a church where she encounters a young priest named Michael, who gives her sanctuary. But the killing was not a simple act of passion, as the victim had ties to organized crime, and, surprisingly, so does Michael, whose father is a powerful don. When the priest finds himself falling in love with Angela, his religious vows and family ties are both severely tested.
Danny O'Brien is back in action fighting the notorious Simon Moon, also known as The Terror. Three years earlier O'Brien had single-handedly captured The Terror and was called Hero by the people of L.A. Now Simon has escaped and has started killing women again, and O'Brien is the only man who can stop him.
Claire Gregory, an upper class New York personality, witnesses a murder in a luxurious nightclub. Detective Mike Keegan, recently promoted, is assigned to protect her.
Mark Kaminsky is kicked out of the FBI for his rough treatment of a suspect. He winds up as the sheriff of a small town in North Carolina. FBI Chief Harry Shannon, whose son has been killed by a mobster named Patrovina, enlists Kaminsky in a personal vendetta with a promise of reinstatement into the FBI if Patrovina is taken down. To accomplish this, he must go undercover and join Patrovina's gang.
Charlie and his troublesome cousin Paulie decide to steal $150000 in order to back a "sure thing" race horse that Paulie has inside information on. The aftermath of the robbery gets them into serious trouble with the local Mafia boss and the corrupt New York City police department.
A successful businessman falls in love with the girl of his dreams. There's one big complication though; he's fallen hook, line and sinker for a mermaid.
Fledgling comic Benjy Stone can't believe his luck when his childhood hero, the swashbuckling matinee idol Alan Swann, gets booked to appear on the variety show he writes for. But when Swann arrives, he fails to live up to his silver screen image. Instead, he's a drunken womanizer who suffers from stage fright. Benjy is assigned to look after him before the show, and it's all he can do to keep his former idol from going completely off the rails.
Buddy Evans manages events at Madison Square Garden in New York City. He is a confirmed bachelor who lives with his housekeeper Celia. After coming into contact with several children, Buddy decides that he is ready to be a father. Buddy decides to hire a surrogate mother in the hope of having a son.
New York City detective Daniel Ciello agrees to help the United States Department of Justice help eliminate corruption in the police department, as long as he will not have to turn in any close friends. In doing so, Ciello uncovers a conspiracy within the force to smuggle drugs to street informants.
From the sight of a police officer this movie depicts the life in New York's infamous South Bronx. In the center is "Fort Apache", as the officers call their police station, which really seems like an outpost in enemy's country. The story follows officer Murphy, who seems to be a tuff cynic, but in truth he's a moralist with a sense for justice.
Emily Hollander becomes the subject of a lesbian obsession at the hands of Andrea Glassen, her next-door neighbour.