On the morning of her 11th birthday, Joyce reads in one of her gift books that she should perform a good deed. After giving the $5 gift to an old man in the park her mother reprimands her and warns her that old men steal little girls. She goes to the park the next day to see if this is true. Her old friend assures her it isn’t, and she invites him to come to her home. Hiding him in the attic she hears the story of how he left his little girl with friends’ years before, and when he returned, all trace of her had been lost. When Joyce’s parents return the old man recognizes Mrs. Farley as his long-lost daughter much to the delight of all except Joyce, who pouts that she can have nothing of her own without others sharing it. So, she invites a host of human derelicts in to dine, insisting that they too have lost their little girls.
Zelda Dunbar, a detective, on the trail of two notorious blackmailers, offers herself as their accomplice and is accepted by Eldridge and Mortimer. Zelda wins the heart of Kendrick, a rich bachelor. Zelda slips Kendrick a note saying her father is going to force her to marry a man she does not love. Kendrick takes the girl into another state.
Having declared himself in on a jolly college dinner, Mr. Dubley, member of the class of '88, counted on having a Hot Old Time. Now at a College Dinner the main idea is to get a flying start. It was to be a Dry dinner, so most of the sons of Bohunkus were doing what a Camel does just before crossing a Desert. At 8:15 the Crowd was herded into the banquet hall. Dr. Dubley found himself marooned between two pious elders. The Oysters had been warming up since 6:30. Fortunately, the soup was not warm enough to scald the thumb of a willing longshoreman who had been brought in as an extra waiter.
The political bosses knew it was an off year and they needed a Goat to run for City Clerk. They didn't want a regular guy to get "stepped on," so they started out to find a Fish. They found a nice man who ran a feed store and had lots of coin, so they pounced on him. Mr. Bolivar was his name and he drank malted milk and said "whom" and did everything that was nice. They jollied him until he really thought that he was the man for the position, and when his wife tried to save the poor simp, he only said he must answer the call of duty, that the Peepul wanted him. He sometimes wondered if the other fellow would get any votes at all. Little by little the bosses were drawing on his bank account, and on the night of election he was broke. He lost the fight by 20,000 votes, and when he looked for his pushers, they had skipped.
The Todd family had no success in finding a suitable cook, and after firing the thirteenth one that month, they went to an employment agency and secured the services of Nellie, the prize cook. Nellie was there like a duck when it came to cooking, and they didn't understand how they got along without her before.
Great-grandfather Huxley, an old soldier, is neglected by his grandson and wife. He feels he is in the way and seriously contemplates suicide. One night while the grandson's wife is giving a party, the house catches fire and the old man rescues their children from the burning building.
A blind violinist's sight is restored by an operation paid for by a young woman who loves him, but the fickleness of fate strikes them further tragic blows.
Wilbur Stone is falsely accused of a crime, convicted on circumstantial evidence and "railroaded" to the penitentiary. As an odd coincidence. Frank Fink, a hardened degenerate, is sent up at the same time and he becomes a prison parasite on Stone. Both men are released about the same time.
Stella Le Vere, an ambitious but struggling actress, is abandoned by her husband and is forced to leave her baby girl, Grace, in the care of an orphan asylum. Later, the child is adopted by a well-to-do and kindly family named Thornton, who bring Grace up in ignorance of her identity.