In Augusta the emperor Caligula has a serious problem: he must demonstrate his manliness "coram populo" on the occasion of the feast of Priapus. But the Imperial young man is powerless and threatens a fool in front of the people who arrive in droves to watch the battle. To avoid this conflict, he goes to the professor Barnardus and attempts to hide out in his clinic.
Carolina Miceli, widow of Salvatore Caruso, arrived at the bedside of the dying boss Gaetano Liguoro, tells how, discordant about drug trafficking, the brothers Gaetano and Tony Liguori have opened hostilities against his father Calogero Miceli, backed by politicians.
A veterinarian in Figarolo, Giuliano Goberti has also been providing care to the villagers since the death of Dr. Lofal, but the arrival of a luscious replacement for the vacant doctor precipitates events. While she prescribes drugs, Giuliano orders the bedridden Countess to eat well and exercise. A Roman journalist reports on the miraculous results. Soon the quiet little Italian town is invaded by a motley crew of imaginary patients, who have to bring an animal with them to save the vet from trouble for practicing medicine illegally. In the end, the brave Giuliano marries the lovely doctoress, thus curing their celibacy.