The Famous Five are back. Thirty years after the Comic Strip arrived on our screens with their famous Enid Blyton spoof - Five Go Mad in Dorset. These famous children's characters have again been brought back from the past to confront today's modern world. This time they are made to account for their racist and sexist views. But they seem blissfully unrepentant as they gather for a reunion on Dick's birthday in leafy Dorset - still a magical land of rolling hills, woods, ruined castles, and of course dodgy villains in big black cars.
A craft full of Space Rats,glamorous extra-terrestrials from the planet Sex,arrive on Earth desperate to find men with whom they can procreate in order to ensure the continuity of their race and whom they imprison in their sex factory. Fortunately for the world the secret agent James Blond,a decidedly non-feminist secret agent,sets out to rescue the men and see off the Space Rats in his own inimitable way.
Roy Brush has aspirations to be a great footballer and this seems likely when he scores for England in the European Cup Final. To add to this he becomes a national hero, having seemingly saved a young lad from drowning. But Roy has a secret - he is gay - and the editor of the scurrilous 'Scum' tabloid is making it his business to out him. However, with the help of his manager, Roy can triumph at an inspirational climactic football match, where his tears touch the heart of the nation - and pundit Jimmy Twizzle gets very high on mushroom tea.