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Robert Michael Schneider (born October 31, 1963) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and director.
A stand-up comic and veteran of the NBC sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live, he went on to a career in feature films, including starring roles in the comedy films Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, The Animal, The Hot Chick, The Benchwarmers, and Grown Ups.
Jaded 74-year-old lizard Leo has been stuck in the same Florida classroom for decades with his terrarium-mate turtle. When he learns he only has one year left to live, he plans to escape to experience life on the outside but instead gets caught up in the problems of his anxious students — including an impossibly mean substitute teacher.
Skeeter Bronson is a down-on-his-luck guy who's always telling bedtime stories to his niece and nephew. But his life is turned upside down when the fantastical stories he makes up for entertainment inexplicably turn into reality. Can a bewildered Skeeter manage his own unruly fantasies now that the outrageous characters and situations from his mind have morphed into actual people and events?
An Israeli counterterrorism soldier with a secretly fabulous ambition to become a Manhattan hairstylist. Zohan's desire runs so deep that he'll do anything -- including faking his own death and going head-to-head with an Arab cab driver -- to make his dreams come true.
Firefighters Chuck Ford and Larry Valentine are guy's guys, loyal to the core—which is why when widower Larry asks Chuck to pose as his lover so that he can get domestic partner benefits for his kids, his buddy agrees. However, things get dicey when a bureaucrat comes calling, and the boys are forced to present a picture of domestic bliss.
After leaving the prison, the dwarf criminal Calvin Sims joins to his moron brother Percy to steal an expensive huge diamond in a jewelry for the mobster Walken. They are chased by the police, and Calvin hides the stone in the purse of the executive Vanessa Edwards, whose husband Darryl Edwards wants to have a baby. Percy convinces Calvin to dress like a baby and be left in front of the Edwards's house to get inside the house and retrieve the diamond. Darryl and Vanessa keep Calvin for the weekend and decide to adopt him, while Walken threatens Darryl to get the stone back.
A married workaholic, Michael Newman doesn't have time for his wife and children, not if he's to impress his ungrateful boss and earn a well-deserved promotion. So when he meets Morty, a loopy sales clerk, he gets the answer to his prayers: a magical remote that allows him to bypass life's little distractions with increasingly hysterical results.
Deuce Bigalow goes to Amsterdam after a little accident including two irritating kids and a bunch of aggressive dolphins. There he meets up with his old friend T.J. Hicks. But a mysterious killer starts killing some of Amsterdam's finest gigolos and T.J. is mistaken for the extremely gay murderer. Deuce must enter the gigolo industry again to find the real murderer and clear T.J.'s name.
Disgraced pro football quarterback Paul Crewe lands in a Texas federal penitentiary, where manipulative Warden Hazen recruits him to advise the institution's football team of prison guards. Crewe suggests a tune-up game which lands him quarterbacking a crew of inmates in a game against the guards. Aided by incarcerated ex-NFL coach and player Nate Scarborough, Crewe and his team must overcome not only the bloodthirstiness of the opposition, but also the corrupt warden trying to fix the game against them.
Henry is a player skilled at seducing women. But when this veterinarian meets Lucy, a girl with a quirky problem when it comes to total recall, he realizes it's possible to fall in love all over again…and again, and again. That's because the delightful Lucy has no short-term memory, so Henry must woo her day after day until he finally sweeps her off her feet.
Not only is Jessica Spencer the most popular girl in school -- she is also the meanest. But things change for the attractive teen when a freak accident involving a cursed pair of earrings and a chance encounter at a gas station causes her to switch bodies with Clive, a sleazy crook. Jessica, in the form of the repulsive Clive, struggles to adjust to this radical alteration and sets out to get her own body back before the upcoming prom.
After the lord of darkness decides he will not cede his throne to any of his three sons, the two most powerful of them escape to Earth to create a kingdom for themselves. This action closes the portal filtering sinful souls to Hell and causes Satan to wither away. He must send his most weak but beloved son, Little Nicky, to Earth to return his brothers to Hell.
Deuce Bigalow is a less than attractive, down on his luck aquarium cleaner. One day he wrecks the house of a gigolo and needs quick money to repair it. The only way he can make it is to become a gigolo himself, taking on an unusual mix of female clients. He encounters a couple of problems, though. He falls in love with one of his unusual clients, and a sleazy police officer is hot on his trail.
In a dystopian future, Dredd, the most famous judge (a cop with instant field judiciary powers) is convicted for a crime he did not commit while his murderous counterpart escapes.
In 1996, brash L.A. detective John Spartan and maniac killer Simon Phoenix are both sentenced to decades in a cryogenic prison as punishment for a rescue mission gone wrong. When Phoenix escapes 36 years later to wreak havoc on the future, Spartan is awakened to capture his nemesis the old-fashioned way.
Instead of flying to Florida with his folks, Kevin ends up alone in New York, where he gets a hotel room with his dad's credit card—despite problems from a clerk and meddling bellboy. But when Kevin runs into his old nemeses, the Wet Bandits, he's determined to foil their plans to rob a toy store on Christmas Eve.