The famous Italian football coach Oronzo Canà has retired to a villa in Apulia. Now, old and tired, he is enjoying a quiet life there, cultivating his vineyard, when suddenly he is summoned to Milan, in northern Italy. There the elderly chairman of a great Lombard ("Longobarda") club is suffering from dementia and has lost his powers of judgement, and the club's manager has been fired. He has decided to bring back Oronzo Canà as trainer, remembering him from his great football team of thirty years before, tasking him with bringing the club back to its old winning ways. Oronzo puts his trust in the intervention of a Russian billionaire who has bought the club for promotion. But it is a deception.
Claudia, Rita, and Caterina are three friends who live in a conservative Italian town and lead seemingly neat and respectable married lives. One day, they are summoned to the notary public's office and learn that Anna, one of their peers in high school who got a bad name as a "whore" in the town because of them and was forced to leave is now dead. Furthermore, she had amassed a great fortune abroad and decided to bequeath it to the three. However, she has a strange condition: Claudia, Rita, and Caterina should cheat on their husbands within three days and provide photographic evidence or else the inheritance will be donated to the retirement home.
Massimo Castaldi is a social climber married to Violante who comes from a rich family. His relationship with his mistress Laura is jeopardised when the family moves to their summer house on the Pugliese coast. Nevertheless, Massimo seems to find a solution. His raunchy daughter Sonia failed in Italian and he plans to present Laura as a nun who will give Sonia private lessons for her compensation exam. On the other hand, there are two dim-witted criminals, Terenzio and Fulgenzio, who are planning to abduct a Castaldi family member for good ransom money.
Colonel Anacleto Punch, military doctor, falls in love with the beautiful and sensual South African Dr. Eve Russell, specializing in transplants. Thinking that his manhood is not adequate for the beautiful colleague, decides to do a transplant with the unsuspecting nurse prawn, that with women has always been successful. But the end result will not be as anticipated.
Luisa De Dominicus is a Milanese piano teacher who moves to Lucca to be with the man she loves: Ferdinando 'Bonci' Marinotti, a city councilman campaigning for mayor on a platform of moral values. She is of the belief that Fernando is single, living with his ailing mother. This, of course, is far from the case. The boys living in her apartment building mistakenly believe Luisa is a call-girl who uses piano teaching as a cover for her true profession, and word soon spreads among the building's dirty old men. The resourceful boys drill a well-concealed hole in the wall between Signorina Luisa's flat and the bedroom of the landlord's son, Marcello Busatti, allowing them a spectacular view of their spectacular neighbor. Marcello quickly becomes infatuated with Luisa, but is also conflicted regarding her supposed profession. Eventually Luisa learns of Fernando's philandering nature, and after a vigorous misunderstanding, satisfies Marcello's unrequited lust/love.
Gobette, a young avant-garde dancer, finds herself unemployed after the closure of the provincial club where she performs. By pure coincidence, Cipriano Gaudet, Minister of Justice, meets her at a judge's house and, convinced that she is the wife of the subordinate, gives promotions to the unsuspecting representative of the law in order to remove him from the woman and be able to get married with the soubrette. ..
Cormack, the lawman most feared by the rugged pioneers at the turn of the century, has a mysterious bond with "Caribou," an outlaw whom he has jailed. When Caribou escapes from prison, he returns to seek revenge.